


Baby, It's Cold Outisde

by Justadeangirl67



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gilmore Girls Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Artist Steve Rogers, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Christmas Tree, Divorce, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, Hurt Steve Rogers, I Blame Tumblr, Insecure Tony, Just lots of Chrismtas, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Moving On, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Break Up, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Reader-Insert, Sharing a Bed, Sweet Steve Rogers, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, basically just stealing Stars Hollow, fluffy Tony Stark, kind of, losing a child, steve rogers - Freeform, tony stark - Freeform, trapped in a snowed in house, yes i did
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2019-08-20 07:30:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16551590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justadeangirl67/pseuds/Justadeangirl67
Summary: Y/n has spent Christmas for the last five years in the city avoiding going home, avoiding the biggest mistake of her life. It’s not that she didn’t want to see her family and friends. She really, really did.It was just… complicated.Going home just meant she had to face a lot of things she left behind five years ago. Her students, her parents, and… her husband. Well, ex-husband. There was no way she was ready to see Steve again, but after she found out her father was sick, all of those silly reasons for staying away didn’t seem to matter as much.She put everything on hold, put in to use her month worth of saved vacation days and bolted back home. Ready to face all her mistakes.What she hadn’t counted on, was spending the weeks leading up to Christmas snowed-in at her family’s home with her ex-husband and her incredibly snarky, kind of adorable boss who just happened to hate Christmas, too.Christmas drunk and alone in her office was starting to sound amazing





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I couldn’t wait till November to start posting this story, so here we are. This is an AU, but Tony is still Tony Stark. Still has an arc reactor, just no Iron Man. Also, this is NOT a poly fic. So no Stony x reader. It will be either Steve or Tony in the end.
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though. Thanks!***

**_December 17th, 2012_ **

_It hurt more then she was willing to admit. It felt as if someone ripping her heart out of her chest, but there was nowhere left for them to go. No more backroads, second chances, or detours. This is where they had to come to an end._

_A painfully bitter end._

_No one deems on their wedding day that six short years later they will be signing divorce papers in the middle of the kitchen they once shared sweet mornings and playful late nights. And, yet, here they were. Signing away pieces of each other and ignoring every promise they made all those years ago before their friends and family._

_Y/n had given him the house and everything in it. There wasn’t a piece of furniture in this house she wanted to take with her where memories wouldn’t follow, and she couldn’t carry the weight of those .any longer She only wanted the car, a few of her things from before their marriage, and their photo albums. She couldn’t look at them, but she hoped one day she would want to revisit those memories.  Steve, of course, gave her everything she wanted and agreed to every stipulation because that’s the kind of man he was._

_Anything to make her hurt less._

_Steve signed his named hastily and flung the pen onto the counter, unable to look her in the eye. He never wanted this, and she knew that. Steve wanted to work it out. Counseling. Temporary separation if she felt that strongly. Starting from scratch. He would do anything she wanted._

_Anything but this._

_“We got it right once didn’t we?”_

_“Steve…”_

_It was the first time she had said his name in, God, he didn’t know how long, but he wanted to savor the sweetness of it because he had no idea when he would have the privilege of hearing it fall from her lips again. He stepped over to her and cradled her face in his rough hands tilting her head up to meet his heavy eyes that no longer glistened._

_“For just a second, can you forget all the resentment and sorrow and remember how much we loved each other? Because I’m standing here begging you not throw all this away because of what we lost,” he choked out. “We shouldn’t lose each other too.”_

_Y/n knew what he wanted, what he needed to hear from her, but she couldn’t give it to him. She could barely look at him. This was the most they had touched in the last six months. Every piece of her was aching to give in and spend the rest of her life striving to make their marriage work, but that would be a disservice to both of them._

_She especially couldn’t do that to her sweet Steve, the man who loved with his whole heart. They couldn’t live in a barely there marriage, and it was too late to repair the damage. Not after Sarah. Not after everything they suffered. How could they stay together when they already failed each other?_

_She pressed a tender kiss to his lips and stepped back from him, putting distance between again. It would be easier to say what she needed to with space to think clearly. “I do love you. I’ll love you for the rest of my life, but it doesn’t change the truth. We lost us a long time ago, and we can’t get that back. I’ll send someone to get all my boxes from the office,” she added in a soft whisper as she forced her feet to move her towards the front door leaving her husband brokenhearted in their – his kitchen._

_Taking one last glance around the house, she furiously rubbed the tears that had started to fall from her cheeks and looked back at Steve with a sad smile.  There was nothing left for her here now, and she had a new life to start Monday morning._

_“Merry Christmas Steve.”_

**_Present - December 15th, 2018_ **

_“Y/n? You with me?”_

_Y/n’s attention snapped back to her boss, and she nodded quickly – a little too quickly. “Yeah, I’m sorry. This time of a year makes me all,” she replied frantically as she waved her hands up around her head. “Never mind. I’m fine. I’m here and I’m listening, but I am not sure why you want me to be there with you when you present this? I know nothing about clean energy.”_

_She studied at the shinning blue screen before her as she continued, “Just because I have a degree in biochemistry doesn’t mean I am an expert in genetics–” She tilted her head to the side and sighed, “Or in anything really, and I never finished my doctorate. I’m like half a scientist.”_

_Tony grinned at her and swung his hand in front of the blue screen that was separating them making the barrier vanish. “Okay,” Tony states. “First off I am a hundred percent certain you are not half of anything. Second, Christmas sucks so I will give you that one. Third, I told you I would pay for you to go back and finish your degree–”_

_“–And I told you no.”_

_He rolled his eyes in response and crossed his arms over his chest. “Fine. I’ll drop it till after the new year. 2019 you’re going to school, or I’m firing you.”_

_She laughed. Loudly. Right in his face and Tony couldn’t find in himself to do anything but grin. They both knew that it was a giant empty threat. He would lose his mind if she weren’t there to keep it all tucked away in his genius head._

_“To be clear, I want you there because…” He muttered as he slipped his hands in hers and pulled them up to his chest, over the glowing blue light that was keeping him alive. “I couldn’t do half the things I do without you, and I need your big biochem brain standing next to me even if you know nothing about engineering.”_

_Tony was too smooth sometimes. He was the exact opposite of Steve when they first met. Of course, they were in their early twenties when they started dating, dorky and awkward kind of came with that age. Steve slowly came into his charm. She had thought after six years her heart would stop craving Steve this time of year – or all year for that matter._

_Maybe time with Tony was what she needed._

_“Okay, Mr. Stark. I’ll spend Christmas with you,” she said with a radiant smile._

_Y/n’s phone rang and startled them both. She hastily pulled her hands away from his chest like she had been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to and reached for her phone, frowning at the name flashing on the screen._

**_Mom_ **

_She held a finger up for Tony slightly asking for a moment. She took a few steps back from him as she swiped her thumb across the screen and nervously pressed the phone to her ear._

_“Mom? What’s going on? It’s like two in the morn– I’m up because my boss– No, I don’t always stay up this late with my boss. We aren’t dating. He needed my help. I was jus–“ She groaned and ducked her head to hide her embarrassment from Tony as she listened to her mom frantic rambling and then her blood ran cold._

_“What do you mean? Dad is sick?”_

_And, just like that, she hated Christmas for a whole new reason._


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving back home Y/n is confronted with some things she wanted to keep buried deep in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: ***TW: Child loss due to illness.*** Angst. Sweet, pure Tony.
> 
> A/N: Just an FYI reader is from a fictional small town because I say so. and I decided to base it off Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls. I needed a wacky holiday-loving town, and I love GG. So deal with it I guess? However, there is no match up to the storyline from GG at all. It is just the town and some of those aspects I am using. This is an AU, but Tony is still Tony Stark. Still has an arc reactor and SI, just no Iron Man. Also, no Stony x reader. It will be either Steve or Tony in the end.
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though. Thanks!***

It seemed like this year, Christmas was doing everything it could to win the award for the worst holiday season ever. Christmas was already tainted by her past, divorcing the love of her life and with her and losing Sarah. Now, it wanted to take her father too? Why couldn’t she be like everyone else? She could go Christmas shopping with her friends – not that she had friends any more. If she did she could drink hot cocoa with them, decorate her house and buy a Christmas tree. Maybe even drink eggnog without using it as a way to numb the pain. She wouldn’t even mind kissing someone under the mistletoe again. 

She would never have any of that though. Christmas would always stay the same for her – a black mark on her heart. 

Once Tony had figured out what was going on back home he had insisted that she take his jet. It took her declining the offer ten separate times before he finally gave in and offered her one of his cars with a driver. She wanted to refuse, but at this rate, she would never get home if she didn’t let him help in some small way. So, there she sat, in a car that probably cost more than her education with her very owner rive.

Happy looked back at her in the review mirror. “Are you doing okay Miss. Rogers?” He asked with a smile.

Her gaze flicked up to the mirror, and she gave him a small smile in return. “I’m fine Happy,” she assured him. “Thank you for driving me all this way. It really wasn’t needed.” It wasn’t that long of a journey. Her hometown was only three short hours outside of New York City, but a round trip this close to Christmas wouldn’t exactly be the smoothest drive.

“Yeah, well, the boss wasn’t having that,” Happy replied. “He likes to take care of the important people in his life.”

Not sure I am that important. He could hire anyone to replace me,” Y/n snorted and looked back down at her phone as she swiped through her emails.  

“Trust me,” Happy whispered, all playfulness dropping from his voice. “You’re important to Mr. Stark.”

She looked up to meet Happy’s eyes again just in time to hear the left back tire blow out and to watch as they slid into a nearby snowbank. Everything was drowned out, everything but Happy’s cursing and the embarrassingly loud scream that left her lungs. Snow flew up around them as the car came to a stop and the engine shut off. The silence that filled the car gave her a minute to calm down and check out their surroundings. It didn’t appear that they were buried too deeply in the snow, at least they would have an easy time digging them out of the snow bank. 

This time of year really had it out for her. 

“Are you okay?” Happy asked, frantic, eyes wide as he climbed driver’s seat to get her. He grabbed her face to inspect that she was okay. “Tony is going to kill me if you’re hurt. Move your head. What about your arms? Are there two of me?”

“No, Happy. There are one of you.” She gave his hands a gentle squeeze and let go so she could search for her phone that had flown out of her hands. “Let me make a quick call, okay? There’s a mechanic in town, and they can send someone out to help.” 

**> >>>**

It took forty minutes, the longest forty minutes of her life, for the tow truck to arrive.  She’s never been this excited to see a tow truck in her life that was until she saw the side painted on the side. Her heart dropped into her stomach like a rock. Of course, her mother had called them. She doesn’t know when to keep her nose out of other people’s business. 

Happy smiles at the name on the side of the tow truck and looked with her. “Hey, Rogers Auto & Repairs. Any relation?” He asked. 

Y/n’s eyes flicked over to Happy and back to the truck that was slowing down to a stop in front of the pair. “None that I want to talk about Happy,” she muttered, unhappily. If God or Santa’s elves cared for her at all, a stranger would step out of that struck. Apparently, she was on the naughty list again this year. The truck door swung open and out stepped the man she abandoned. 

Just her luck.

“Steve?”She asked, confused and completely stunned. She wasn’t expecting him, she had been expecting her father-in-law but this was so much worse.

Elf on a shelf could bite her ass as far as she was concerned. 

“Hi, Y/n.” Steve replied wearing a smile she didn’t recognize – one full of regret and heartache.

Happy looked between the pair a few times and finally settled a confused look on Y/n. “You two,” he said, motioning between them with a flailing hand. “Uh– You know each other, huh?”

Y/n groaned internally. How the hell was she going to explain who this was and why they both looked… utterly broken. She turned to look at Happy ready to give him some bullshit answer about being old friends but Steve beat her to it, “Yes, we do. I’m her husband. Well, ex-husband. Nearly six years to the day.”

Steve didn’t waste another second with idle chit-chat. He stepped around them and got to work hooking up their car up, leaving the two of them to stew in anxious tension.

“Does Mr.Stark know?” Happy asked uneasily.

“I–What? Why would he know?” She asked genuinely curious as to why that would even matter. “It’s not like I walk around the office telling people I’m divorced. Not something I am proud of.” 

It was never brought up and they never had cause to discuss her personal life but she was certain Tony knew. He did his own digging into every employee he hired, so she suspected he knew everything about her past and she didn’t think any of it mattered. Why would Tony care about who was married to or used to be married to?

Happy winced and whispered, “You should probably tell Mr.Stark.”

Something that sounded like a growl came from where Steve was standing as he finished hooking their car up to the tow truck. He slammed his hand against the button that raised the vehicle off its front tires and guilt starts to swarm her chest. Happy’s worry for Tony was no doubt causing all kinds of images in Steve’s head. She could see the panic flashing his eyes. Thoughts of her dating someone else, starting a new family, and imagining she’s moved on from everything they were. That couldn’t be further from the truth. 

The ache may have lessened but in her head, he was still her Steve.

“He’s my boss, Happy. He doesn’t need to know all the details of my personal life.” She spoke loud enough for Steve to hear her and the tension in his shoulders eased but the pain on etched on his face remained.

Happy threw his hand up in concession and walked around to the passenger side of the truck, giving them space– just not too much space. He was going to linger close by, for safety.

Steve slowly stepped over to her and leaned against the side of the truck, running his hand through his hair as he watched her. It was the first time she as able to get a good look at him since he pulled up, he was just as gorgeous as he was when they met. His hair was much longer, not as blonde and he had a thick, full bear that she didn’t hate. There were crinkles by his eyes and lines had started to form on his forehead but it didn’t change how handsome he was. Still, there was a sadness in his eyes when he looked at her, and he seemed utterly exhausted. As if he has been fighting to make it through these last six years.

Just like her.

“If I had known you took over for your dad I wouldn’t have–” She started to explain why she had let her mother call the shop but decided there was no point. What was done was done. “I just didn’t know it would be you is all. You were always so focused on your art. I just didn’t– I didn’t think.” 

She didn’t think in more ways than one.

His eyes dropped to the snow-covered ground, and when he looked back up at her they were filled with resentment and bitterness. ‘Yeah, well, a lot of things changed when you left. My art just didn’t seem to matter anymore. Tried to pick up a brush, my charcoal and nothing came out. Guess I really did need you more than you needed me,” he snapped.

How could Steve think she didn’t need him? She leaned on him more than was fair during their marriage, and most of the time it left Steve with no one to lean on. “I–“ Steve hurried forward and cut her off before she had a chance to say anything more.

“Are you going to visit her while you’re here?” Steve asked softly.

“Do we have to do this now?” She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger and closed her eyes. “I just got here. I haven’t even had a second to breathe, Steve.”

Steve huffed, a sarcastic laugh falling from his lips as he makes his way back to the front of the truck, “I haven’t had a second to breathe in the last seven years, Y/n. I still go. Every year. Several times a year.”  She knew he would be upset with her, but she didn’t think he would hate her the way he does. – that’s what a lack of closure will do, she supposes. Maybe things would have been different if hadn’t packed her things and bolted, leaving Steve to pick up the pieces of their broken lives.

“I’m going down this afternoon. I got her favorite flowers. I just thought you might want to go since you haven’t been in six years. She is your daughter, too, you know.” Steve shook his head as he climbed into the truck and slammed the door behind him.

 _That_  had her seeing red. 

As if she needed a God damn reminder that they buried their daughter seven years ago. The memory never left her. It has filled her dreams every single day since Sarah died. Y/n didn’t need to come to her grave to speak with her little girl or be reminded of what was taken from her.

She won’t ever forget how she was ripped from her arms too soon.

Happy shifted uncomfortably and nodded towards the cab of the truck, “I know this is awkward for everyone, but I can’t fit in the middle…”

This holiday was just freaking perfect.

**> >>>**

The enmity that filled in the truck was almost unbearable. Happy tried to break the tension with a few questions about the town as they drove through, but neither Steve nor Y/n were in the mood to chat. After unloading the car at the shop, Steve grabbed Y/n’s bags and offered to drive to her parents’ house – it was better than waiting for the car to get fixed and it allowed Happy to avoid any more awkward moments. No one could blame him for opting out of that piping hot mess. 

Against her better judgment, she was now alone, in a small confined space with her ex-husband for the first time in six years. It was suffocating. 

“Have you seen dad?” Y/n asked quietly, trying to keep the subject off of their demons. “Mom wouldn’t give me a lot of details over the phone.”

Steve shifted in his seat and nodded, preferring not to look at her, “I see him a few times a week. I come by and help your mom. Chop wood for her. Take on some of the stuff your dad can’t do anymore.”

Of course, he does. 

Steve always was a gentleman and took on everyone else’s problems as his own, so she shouldn’t be surprised that he took this on.  One of their biggest problems stemmed from Steve’s inability to not carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. He never stopped and was always busy helping someone – fixing Wanda’s porch, helping Bucky at the diner during the dinner shift, handling the neighborhood watch with Sam. 

It left little time for her and Sarah, and the time he did have, he was exhausted. His kindness and generosity are some of the reasons she fell in love with him but, she just wished he would have been that generous with her when their time was running out. Then again, everyone grieves in different ways and that doesn’t make them wrong. 

Steve hid behind the town and ignored her, She chose to run from him – they both made a lot of mistakes that cannot be taken back.

“He’s going to be okay I think,” Steve said, pulling her out of her head. “Heart attack wasn’t that bad. I picked him up from the hospital, and he was yelling at his doctors. He’s gonna have to cut back a bit on work, and maybe some more visits from his daughter wouldn’t hurt.”

Y/n’s head jerked towards him, and she narrowed her eyes. “Can we just have one conversation without you eluding to how awful of a person I am? I get it!” she snipped. “I abandoned you. I left when you needed me and I’m sorry, but I couldn’t be in this damn town anymore. Every time I turned a corner I saw her! Everyone was whispering and talking, watching every move we were making. We barely touched, let alone talked. They were all counting down the days to our divorce. I had to get away from all this.”

“You don’t think I needed that too?” He begged, anger resurfacing. He briefly looked over at her before gazing back at the road. “And, who says I wouldn’t have gone with you? I would have followed you anywhere.” 

“Still would,” he added, his words rough and filled with anguish. 

There was no snappy comeback, no smartass remark or heartfelt apology that would fix this. Everything she wanted to say was fruitless next to the weight of their tarnished history. She turned her attention back to the window, staring out at the empty white snow-covered fields leading up to her parent’s house. This was a mistake. She shouldn’t have come back here. 

**> >>>**

“Oh, sweetheart it’s so good to see you.” Her mother cooed as she hurdled down the stairs. She pulled Y/n into a bone-crushing hug the moment she was within reach and tightened her hold on her as she spoke, “It’s good to see you two together, too. Good afternoon Steven.”

He nodded with a smile, “Ma’am.”

“Mom,” Y/n groaned. “We’re not together. He picked me up is all. Thanks to somebody putting their nose in my business.”

She pulled back and shrugged as she brushed Y/n’s hair out of her eyes, “I’ve always said you were foolish to leave Steve. That man has always been head over heels in love with you.  Maybe being home is what you need to see that you two are meant to be together honey.  You can get back on track and move home, try for a family again–”

Of course, she was going to go there.  

“Can we not?” Y/n sighed, exhausted and frankly, it hurt too much to keep talking about Steve. “I just got in, and Steve has already hassled me about Sarah, and we fought from the moment we saw each other today. I just want to go inside and see daddy, maybe have some coffee and then wash this day off me.”

“Okay,” she conceded and kissed her daughter’s cheek. “Get your bags and come in. Your dad is sleeping in his chair, but I’m sure he will be up any moment once he smells the stew I’ve got on the stove.” She gave her daughter one last squeeze before heading back into the house.

The sound of tires rolling up the snowy drive had Y/n turning around to face whoever was approaching. Steve was immediately on alert as if he needed to protect her from whoever was in the car. They lived in a town without a real police department and he’s on guard like they live in a bad part of New York City. The ‘force’ consisted of ten people from the town who volunteered their time, and the population was around two hundred. 

None of that mattered if you asked Steve.

The car came to a stop and the door swung open. She couldn’t believe her eyes.  This had to be some sort of prank. What the hell was Tony doing There? He does love to make an entrance. Tony stepped out and glanced around the property before his eyes settled on her, a huge grin forming. 

As relieved as she was to see him, this was not going to go over well. 

“Tony? W-What are you doing here?” She prodded.

Steve stood back watching the two of them interact from a distance. He didn’t think his heart could take being any closer. Y/n could say Tony was just her boss all she wanted, but the fact Tony was here _meant_  something. Tony was here for her because he thought Y/n needed him here and that said everything Steve needed to know

Tony grinned, that charming wolfish grin she’s become so fond of. “Happy called. He said a tire blew out and that there was–” He spun to look at Steve and then back to her. “Some tension with a lumberjack. Thought you might need some cheering up and who is better at making uncomfortable situations easier if not me? Plus, I have to be honest, I left about an hour after you did so I already on my way here.”

Y/n chuckled, beaming from his thoughtfulness. She couldn’t fathom how anyone believed what they said about this sweet man in the tabloids. He’s one of the most generous men she knows, he and Steve have that in Common.

“That was considerate of you, but you can’t miss your presentation because of me.”

“I won’t. I pushed it back till the 27th.” Tony shrugged like moving around the biggest meeting his company has had all year was no big deal. “I told you I need you there by my side or I can’t do it.”

She glanced back at Steve who held the same hurt expression as he did the day she asked him for a divorce. Everything was still so raw between the two of them and having Tony here would only make things worse – Just friends or not.

“Tony that’s–That is so sweet, but–” Just as Y/n was about to tell him to go back to New York and she would see him after the New Year, her mother stepped out onto the porch. 

“Hey you two-“ She looked at Tony with an eyebrow raised. “Or three, I guess. Come on inside for dinner. There is a storm approaching, and none of you need to be driving in this. Whatever you have planned can wait a few hours.” She stepped to the side, making room for them to come inside but her eyes were on Tony, “And, who are you again?”

Tony beamed at her, “Tony Stark. I’m your beautiful daughter’s delightfully charming boss, and I would love to stay for dinner.” He jogged up the front stairs and followed her inside. Y/n had to suppress the chuckle, at least someone was going to be around to make her laugh. 

Steve slowly walked up and stopped next to Y/n still shouldering her bags, quietly questioning, “Since when do bosses fly out because an employee is having family trouble while on vacation?” 

Y/n knew what he was really asking, but she didn’t want to answer  _that_ question for herself, let alone for Steve. She simply shrugged in response. 

“You didn’t mention you worked for Stark Industries now.” He added. “What happened to teaching? You loved teaching.

She looked over at Steve anchoring herself in those soft pool blues before she gained the courage to speak. “A lot of things changed when I left, and teaching just didn’t mean as much anymore without you.” She replied. “Guess I need you more than you think I do.”

“Come on you two! Come inside before you freeze!”

Y/n started up the stairs at the sound of her mother’s voice before turning back to look at him. “I’ll go down to see Sarah with you. After dinner?”

A small smile formed on his face and he nodded, “Yeah, okay. After dinner.”


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things only get more complicated the longer Y/n is around both men, and her father is zero freaking help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: **The trigger warning: Child loss due to illness***. Slightly sad Steve. Sweet, pure Tony. A bit fluffy. 
> 
> A/N: Just a reminder this is an AU, but Tony is still Tony Stark. Still has an arc reactor, just no Iron Man. No Stony x reader. 
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though. Thanks!***

Y/n sat on the couch in the den of her childhood home, watching her ex-husband and her boss- or her, she didn’t know what the hell Tony was right now. Her friend? Maybe that was the best term to describe him right now. Steve was right that was for sure, he was more than her boss. Tony had hundreds of employees, and he didn’t just show up at their family homes because he thought they might be having an uncomfortable visit back home.

Whatever was going on in Tony’s head, she was more than just an employee to him, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

Tony caught her eye and grins, making her stomach do some weird summersault she wasn’t expecting. She smiles back and quickly looks away. There’s really only been one man in her life that has given her that same knees to jelly, stomach dropping, heart-melting feeling and he was just a few feet away tossing a few logs onto the fire.

She glanced over in time to bust Steve for staring at her. She raised an eyebrow and smirked at the blush on his cheeks and ears. He chuckled and shook his head, wiping his hands on his jeans and shrugged in her direction, as if to say: I can’t it help it. Not when it comes to you.

He didn’t need to say the words. Y/n’s always known just what he was thinking before he was even sure he was thinking it, right up until Sarah got sick. Things got confusing then, foggy. She couldn’t hear her own thoughts, let alone feel what Steve was thinking, but she wished she could go back and find out. She wanted to could go back and not be so selfish with their grief, support him more so he didn’t have to be so strong for her.

“Looks like you’ve got yourself in a pickle don’t you sweetheart?” Y/n’s attention turned back to her father, and she frowned, unsure what he meant. He waved a finger between the two men and grinned.

She rolled eyes and took his hand in hers as she moved to sit on the arm of his recliner, “Not you too daddy. I don’t think I can handle it from you.”

He chuckled and squeezed her hands, keeping his voice low for just the two of them. “You know Steve has been waiting for you to come home, been waiting for a chance to make it right between the two of you. If you wanted to make things right, now would be a good time to start making amends.  Move home, get your job back, and fix your marriage.”  She glanced back at Steve poking away at the fireplace and then her eyes flicked to Tony, who was talking her mother into letting him install an A.I. into their house. “Or… that Tony guy seems like nice.  A bit flashier than Steven, but still would be a good choice.”

A chill ran through her at her father’s words. She turned her attention back to him and playfully narrowed her eyes, “I’m not interested in either if you must know. Steve and I…” She shook her head, frustrated with her lack of words for what they meant to each other. “Tony is-is…” She groaned and dropped her head onto his shoulder, and his hand immediately came up to tangle in her hair, stroking her hair gently in an attempt to calm the furry of thoughts he knew had started.  

“You remember what I told you when you were a little girl?” He waited for her to nod against his shoulder, “Love is never going to be easy, sweetheart. At some point, you’re going to have to decide what you want and take it.” He chuckled at her grumbled complaints she was spewing into his shirt. “I’m not saying they are both in love with you peanut, I’m just saying at some point you’re gonna have to stop hiding and make the hard choice you’ve been putting off your whole life.”

“I know daddy.” She whispered softly, lifting her head to place a soft kiss on his cheek. “How are you feeling? Steve said, you’ve been okay? That the heart attack wasn’t so bad.” She just wanted to talk about anything but the two men who were anxiously watching the two of them.

He snorted and waved his hand towards his wife. “I’m fine. Your mother overreacted. Just need a little heart surgery is all. Something about a valve that isn’t working right.”

Y/n’s head whipped around to look at Steve, glaring. “Surgery? That was left out of the story.”

As usual, Steve’s face remained stoic. If he was feeling anything at all, he wasn’t showing it. She had forgotten he did that, but Tony spoke up in time to save him.

“Surgery? What’s the prognosis? I’ve got an incredible surgeon and not to brag, but kind of saved my own heart.” He taps on the source of the blue light shining through his white button-up shirt with his index finger, grinning. “Say the word, and I can make a call? See what I can find out to help. I can at least get you the best damn surgeon in New York City.”

He shifted uncomfortably next to his daughter, and Y/n knew it was about the money. They may not know who Tony is or what he was worth, but it was clear they lived very different lives. Thankfully, Tony seemed to catch on and quickly stepped up.

“I’ll take care of all it. It can Y/n’s Christmas bonus.” He winked at Y/n.

“Well, I guess.” He grumbled, adjusting his legs in his recliner. “If you’re sure it’s not too much trouble. The missus has all the details. I stopped listening once they said I couldn’t eat cheeseburgers anymore.”

Tony had his phone out and had begun to type away before he ever got an okay, but still managed to grin at her dad. “Well, let’s wait to see what my guy thinks. What’s the point in getting the surgery if you have to stop eating cheeseburgers?”

He caught Y/n’s eye just long enough to see her mouth a relieved thank you. He shook his head like it was no big deal like he was just ordering them dinner, not possibly paying for her father to have heart surgery. He gave her a quick smile and stepped into the hallway to make a few calls.

Steve observed the two of them, and he honest to God hated it. The way she looked at Tony, the way he looked at her, how he jumped to help her. It was clear he was doing it because he wanted to make Y/n happy, wanted to see that pretty smile, but that was Steve’s job. Steve’s job was to take care of Y/n, fix things for her, and protect her. The thought of someone else doing that left him with a sickness in his heart he didn’t think he would be able to cure.

Winning Y/n back just got a hell of a lot more complicated and he only had days to do it in. Tony may be able to give her things with his money that Steve can’t, but he had something Tony doesn’t. Y/n’s heart.

Or, at least he hoped he still had it.

“Looks like it’s really coming down out there.” Her mother muttered, watching the heavy flurries coming down at a rapid rate through the kitchen window. “It sounds like the main road out of town is closed down, and I would bet the road at the end of the driveway is going to be blocked till tomorrow morning at least. Until they can shovel it.”

Y/n stood up from her father’s recliner and looked at her, “I’m sorry. What did you just say?”

She turned around and looked at her Y/n. “Sweetheart, you’ve lived in this town your whole life. You know what this heavy snow means. Besides,” She nodded towards the television behind her, and Y/n felt her stomach sink as her eyes settled on the weather report.

The main road was in fact already closed, which meant Tony was stuck in town until further notice and if the main road was closed which means the driveway was definitely snowed in. She was stuck. At her parent’s house. With her ex-husband and her boss.

Steve stood up and walked towards the kitchen, automatically standing near Y/n. “Don’t worry. Once it stops snowing, I’ll take a shovel and get it cleared out. Might take a while, but it will get done before Christmas.”

Just great.

What did she do to deserve this? Honestly, she would love to know what she did to deserve all of this. She needed to get them both out of here, she came here to spend time with her father, not to bring up the past and open old wounds that were  _finally_  starting to close.

“Well, let me get you all set up with a place to sleep.” Her mother chirped, cutting off the awkward silence that filled the open living space. Tony had wandered back into the kitchen and was listening on with interest once sleeping arrangements were mentioned. “There is a queen size bed in Y/n’s old room and then the couch in her father’s study. So, two of you will have to double up.”

Y/n could feel her heart racing at the mention of doubling up with either of the men near her, both had a hopeful look on their face, but she quickly squashed that.

“I’ll sleep in the study!” She blurted out.

Her mother laughed at her outburst, “I don’t think the boys can share your bed darling. Besides, don’t you think you should probably sleep with Steve honey? It’s not like you didn’t share a bedroom for a decade.”

There was a flash of hurt in Tony’s eyes, it was brief, and he recovered quickly, but after all the years of working for him she has learned when he’s hiding behind the Stark mask. She glared back at her mother as she yanked her bags off the floor and stormed up the stairs to her childhood bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

“Well, that was only slightly awkward.” Tony murmured. “I should probably go talk to her…”

Steve cleared his throat and looked at Tony, “You can have the study.  I’ll catch a few hours on the couch here in the den, and I’ll be up early clearing the snow anyway.” He thumbed back towards the stairs, “It’s better if I talk to her.”

Y/n knew he was there before he even said a word, they have always had that connection. It was like there was a magnetic pull between them, and she could just feel him standing there. She pulled her bag of toiletries out of her suitcase and tosses it along with her computer onto the bed, not acknowledging his presence in the slightest. She didn’t know what to say even if she did.

It was all getting to be too much, and the longer she was home, the more she was regretting coming back. She hasn’t even seen Sarah yet, and everything was already turning to shit.

His eyes went around the bedroom, and he smiled, it hadn’t changed much over the years. It still looked the same. Y/n stepped inside and was seventeen all the over again. The only difference was the queen size bed her parents put in after they got married. There were still pictures of the two of them all over the room, posters on the walls, the stuffed snowman he won her at the Christmas fair. He hadn’t known about the boxes. The boxes from their old house were stacked in the corner, and that stung, more than it should after six years.  

Steve sighed heavily and closed the door behind him, crossing the room to where she was unpacking her bag in three long strides, “I’ll sleep on the floor or on the couch in the den, you don’t have to worry about sharing a bed with me.”

She sighed. “Steve…”

“I just didn’t realize you moved on.” He says sadly, “Moved on with  _him._ ”

“What?” Y/n asked as she turned around to face him, “We’re not- He’s just- I don’t know why he’s here, Steve. I didn’t invite him to come with me.” Her first reaction was to reassure Steve that they weren’t together, that she wasn’t betraying him like he thought, but then she remembers. They are divorced! What the hell kind of implications was he trying to make? That’s when her anger started to bubble up.  

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “It shouldn’t matter why Tony is here anyway, Steve. We’re not married anymore. It’s been five- nearly six years!”

“I know how long it’s been. I know every single day I’ve been without you.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear so he could get a better look at her face. “It’s been nearly six years, and I’m still in love with you. Time doesn’t matter baby. You could leave and come back in another ten years, and I’ll still be here, waiting and loving you.”

There was a piece of her that wanted to sink into his board chest and breathe him in, breathe in the warmth that only Steve brings. It would always be  _home._

“Why? Why are you doing this?” She asked weakly, finally the tiniest crack in her armor show. Letting him see that he affects her too, that it wasn’t just him who still felt something after all these years.

“Because I want to make this right. I want to fix this. We had something awful happen to us, and we handled it even worse, we let it tear us apart.” He grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her towards him, without any hesitation from her. “I didn’t fight for you before. I just let you go, and that was my mistake. I won’t make that mistake again. I’m going to fight for you Y/n and if that means I have to fight Tony Stark.” He shrugged. “Then, I’ll fight him too.”

This was all too much to take in. Y/n didn’t know how to deal with everything that was happening, she just wanted to hide away from it all. From her father’s illness, from Tony, and from Steve. She couldn’t disappear, though. Her dad was right about that, she had to stop running from everything.  

She leaned into his chest and snuggled into him, letting his large arms engulf her as he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.  She knew it wasn’t fair to use Steve to help calm her and get her head back on straight, but she couldn’t help it. Steve has been the only place she’s ever felt at peace, the only place she’s ever felt safe and warm, and there has always been this tiny piece of her that hoped they would find a way back to each other one day.

This was her second chance; their second chance so why was it, she was wrapped in Steve’s arms, and the only thing on her mind was Tony?


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n shows Tony around her town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I have been so bad about updating this fic! Just a reminder this is an AU, but Tony is still Tony Stark. Still has an arc reactor, just no Iron Man. Also, this is NOT a poly fic. So no Stony x reader. It will be either Steve or Tony in the end.
> 
> *** My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

It had been a rough night, and that was putting mildly.

Steve had slept on the floor next to their old bed after her mother made every excuse she could about the couch in the den.

_It was too hard._

_He’s too big for the couch._

_There’s a spring sticking out!_

So, when she woke this morning and Tony suggested getting out of the house to show him around town, she jumped at the idea. She pretended to not see the pained looked on Steve’s face as strolled down the driveway, right by the man she once loved, shoveling mountains of snow for her parents. It hurt too much to acknowledge, and she needed to clear her head of all that hurt for a few moments.

* * *

 

Clear her head of Steve. Even if it was just for an afternoon.

“Can’t wait for you to show me around this crackpot town.” Tony slung his arm around her shoulders and grinned at her as they walked through the snow-covered town square. She wrinkled her nose in confusion. No one wants to walk around her crazy little town, even people who live there. 

“Why?” She asked, genuine curiosity filling her voice.

“It’s important to you.” She snorted in response, and he rolled his eyes. “It is, even if you want to try to hide it.”

Y/n caught his eyes, and for a moment, she got lost in those soft brown pools. Why has she never noticed how pretty his eyes were until now? And, why he did he have to be so sweet when it was just the two of them? It made it difficult for her to put him-- keep him in the friend category. The tender affection that was glimmering back at her made her heart drop, and she had to look away from him.  She cleared her throat as they approached the center of town, and her heart was falling for a whole new reason.

The last time she was here was the week before she asked Steve to sign their divorce papers. She hasn’t stepped foot in this town since and she wasn’t entirely sure they weren’t about to be run out of town by an angry mob.

“Pretty sure no one is going to be excited to see me,” she muttered. “I broke the heart of the town golden boy. I think I’m the black sheep.”

Tony grinned and let his mouth fall right next to her ear, whispering softly, “Perfect. I love black sheep.”

A slow grin formed, and she snuggled further into his side purely from the cold. It had nothing to do with the warmth he brings to her heart.

Nothing at all.

“Okay,” She nudged his ribs with her elbow to bring his attention away from her and her racing heart. “Buck owns the diner, and his wife Nat runs the dance school across the street, and he just happens to be Steve’s best friend, but he does have amazing coffee. Wanda and her brother own the book store around the corner. I used to hang out there a lot. Um, let’s see--” Her thoughts were interrupted by a teenage boy stampeding towards them

“Mrs. Rogers! Mrs. Rogers! Mrs. Rogers!”

The young boy skidded to a halt in front of them, only avoiding a nasty crash thanks to Y/n grabbing ahold of his arms and Tony’s ability to keep her standing on the icy sidewalk.  She helped the kid stand up and gave him a soft but scolding smile.

“It’s Miss. Rogers now Mr. Parker.” She huffed as he slammed into her, hugging her tightly. She returned the hug, positively beaming. Tony had never seen her face light up like that before. She never seemed unhappy at work, but she never sparkled like that. She pulled back to get a good look at the teen. “It’s good to see you too, Peter. How are your grades?”

“Good! Really good!” He glanced quickly at the man next to her and gave a small nod in a silent greeting. “I just finished this project for the science fair--“ His head whipped back to the man. “Holy cow! You’re-- You’re Tony Stark! Mrs. Rogers, you know Tony Stark?”

Y/n sighed and grumbled only loud enough for Tony to hear. “Miss. Rogers. It’s Miss. Rogers.” She took a deep breath and looked back at Tony. “Yes, well, that’s why I stopped teaching. I am with Tony-- Mr. Stark. I am with Mr. Stark now.” 

Tony’s brow quirked up at her wording, and she could feel her face burning. “I mean-- I work with-- work for Tony. Mr. Stark!”

He had just about the smuggest grin she’s ever seen on his handsome face, but Tony didn’t tease her right away like she expected. He turned back to the young boy and flashed him that signature Tony Stark grin. “She does work for me. It’s great having her with me or working for me. Either way, I’m all for it.”

There was the Tony she knew and loved. Teasing and all. 

She groaned, and Tony chuckled at her embarrassment, but his focus remained on Peter. “So, I’m guessing you’re into science since you took  _Miss_. Rogers class? You apply for my internship yet, Pete?” 

Y/n didn’t miss the way he stressed her name as if he didn’t like the way Mrs. Rogers sounded. She looked over at her boss, and for the first time since they met, he was avoiding her eyes and looked, dare she say, jealous?

Peter nodded enthusiastically, utterly star-struck by the man in front of him.

She looked back at Peter, “Why don’t you go show him your stuff, Pete? This kid has been blowing me away since sixth grade.” She ruffled his hair, making his cheeks pink. Honestly, the time alone would do her good.

“Mrs. Rogers,” Peter whined.

Okay, she was giving up. She was forever going to be known as Mrs. Rogers in this damn town. If she didn’t know any better though, Tony flinched that time. Something to think about another time. 

“Go on. I’ll come to collect you from the school in thirty minutes or so.” She waved the boys off with a grin on her face. She could hear the two of them prattling on and on as they walked towards the school.

Now, to keep herself busy for the next hour or so. Y/n spun around on her heels and took in the square trying to decide where she to go, and her eyes landed on the diner. Might as well get it over with and she had missed his coffee something fierce.

“Well, holy shit.” Bucky grinned from behind the counter. “If this isn’t a fuckin’ surprise. It’s good to have you back, doll.”

Y/n was taken back by his excitement to see her. Sure, they used to be all be friends, but that was before. Back before everything that happened with Sarah and back before she divorced his best friend and left town without looking back, forgetting him and Nat.

“Hey, Bucky. It’s good to see you too.” She found a stool at the counter right in front of her former friend, she sat herself down and pulled her gloves off. “How have things been? How are you and Nat?”

“Good. We’re good.” He started to pour her a cup of coffee and plated up her favorite donut without asking, sliding the plate across the countertop right into her waiting hands. “Looking into adopting. You know Nat though, she’s worried it's not right or-- I don’t know. What about you? I hear you’re walking around town with some guy with a goatee?”

She groaned and dropped her head onto the counter. “I’ve barely made it around town! How the heck does everyone know already?” She asked voice muffled from the bar under her. 

Bucky laughed and nudged her head up, “You should know better than to think gossip would stop because we got heavy snow. So, who is he?” She raised her head up and started to pick at the sprinkles on her donut.

“He’s just my boss, Buck.” She shrugged, trying her best to seem as nonchalant as possible.

“Looked like more than just your boss.” She arched her eyebrow, and he smiled. “Saw you walking around the square with his arm around you.”

She internally cursed herself. She should have been more careful, she didn’t want to hurt Steve that way, and if the gossip were already making its way around town, it would undoubtedly make it way back to Steve. See? This is why she liked New York. No one knows her there. She could walk around with Tony all she wanted, and no one would say anything. Well, the tabloids would have a field day, but still.

“Listen,” Bucky started, and she could tell she wasn’t going to like what he had to say next. “You know I love you, but you can’t be bringing him around like that.”

She stared at her former friend in disbelief, “What?”

“Y/n, don’t play dumb. Steve’s still in love with you. I know you know that so if you’ve moved on, I’m happy for you, but he can’t. I don’t think he will ever move on and you bringing your boyfriend here and parading him around town isn’t fair to Steve.”

“I wasn’t-- he’s not--.” She took a deep breath to steady her emotions, but the second she opened her mouth; they both knew that didn’t work. “He’s not my boyfriend Buck, and I like how everyone assumes that I moved on from Steve like it would be that easy to leave him behind!”

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. “Seemed easy when you left town. You didn’t appear to have a problem leavin’ him here all alone, leavin’ us to pick up the pieces.”

That was unfair, and Bucky knew it, but everything he has wanted to say over the last six years just came out in a rushed jumble. Maybe not the best way to bring it up. She shot the plate back at him and glared back at him.

“Screw you, James.”

Before he could say he was sorry, and explain it all came out wrong, she was off the stool and out the door.

“Y/n - wait!” He groaned, “Shit. Nat’s gonna kill me.”

She was already halfway down the block when she ran into Tony, smacking right into his chest. “Hey, I was coming to find you. The kid said you would be here.” He glanced down at her red eyes and the long-haired man chasing after her. “Are you okay? What happened?”

‘Nothing-- just nothing. Forget it.” She leaned into his chest and sighed. “Let’s just go get some lunch. There’s a little Russian place across the square. The lunch here sucks.”

Tony wrapped his arm around her shoulders, protectively and eyed the man watching them. Tony wasn’t sure what happened, but it was clear he was the reason she was so upset, and he didn’t like it. He’s only seen her cry one other time and truthfully, Tony never wanted to see it again. 

“Let’s go then. By the way that kid, seriously smart.  If I ever have a kid, I’m gonna need him to be just like that.”

Y/n laughed despite the ache in her heart. Tony was always good at making her smile when she didn’t want to. She tucked herself into his side and pulled her scarf over her face, muttering into the soft fabric, “I don’t think it works like that Tony.”

“Well, if both parents are a genius scientist, I would imagine the kid has a good chance.” She leaned her head on his shoulder and took in that scent that could only belong to Tony Stark. That was the first time she realized just how addicted she had become to it. To be fair in the last six years, she has spent little time without it surrounding her.

“I’m not sure any of the women you bring home could be confused with a genius scientist.”

Tony threw his head back, laughing so hard his entire body shook from the force of it. “You got me there, but I wasn’t talking about them. Maybe this next year will be my year, and I’ll finally get a certain scientist to fall in love with me.”

The small confession was too genuine, and she had to drop her gaze back to the snow-covered ground. That ‘scientist’ could be anyone of course, but she had a feeling it wasn’t just anyone, and that wasn’t something she could let herself feel right now.

Not when Steve still took up so much of her heart.

  **> >>>**

Nat walked over to her husband, and her eyes followed his gaze through the diner window, he draped his arms around her shoulders. “I think I might have pushed her right into his arms.”

He didn’t look down at the red-head leaning into his side, Bucky already knew the look he was getting. “I didn’t mean to. I just – I just wanted her to see how right they are together. It’s always been Steve and Y/n. Why can’t she see that anymore?”

“I think she’s having trouble pulling her eyes away from someone else right now.” Nat was right, of course. Her heart was being pulled in two different directions. As long as Tony was around to could her feelings, Steve didn’t stand a chance.

Bucky perked up and grinned.

“That’s it! We just need to get Y/n and Steve alone together. Oh, I know just what to do, the winter festival this weekend. They still need help, right? Steve and Y/n would be perfect, wouldn’t they?”

“Babe…” She narrowed her eyes at her husband. “Perfect for what? What are you thinking?” 

His grin widened and Bucky placed a kiss to her cheek.

“Oh, I just found us Santa and Mrs. Claus!”


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Bucky comes by to ask for a favor. Steve and Y/n get closer; Tony doesn’t like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Nada. At least I don’t think. There is child loss in the series but it’s brought up in any detail in this chapter. Just as a trigger warning. 
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: I guess it’s Christmas in June? I don’t know. I guess I am updating this 6 months after the holidays. Way to go, Allie! Just a reminder this is an AU, but Tony is still Tony Stark. Still has an arc reactor, only no Iron Man. It is not Stony x reader. 
> 
>  
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though. Thanks!***

This was some kind of Hallmark movie nightmare, and she was one hundred percent convinced she was being played for a fool. This absolutely was not happening. Bucky had the nerve to come to her parent’s house, stand in their kitchen, and tell her that he signed her up for the festival this weekend as Mrs. Clause to Steve’s Santa. **  
**

After everything that happened at the diner Bucky wanted to ask for a favor?

Over her dead body.

Bucky has unquestionably lost his mind because not only did he think she was actually going to go along with this terrible joke Bucky had said all of this in front of her, her,  her Tony! In a past life, she must have done something entirely and wholly appalling to warrant everything she has to deal with in this life.

“Buck, I am happy to help. You know that, but I don’t think that’s the best idea.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at Y/n who was standing closer to Tony then he would like. By some small miracle, they were on the same page for once. Regardless of her sentiments towards either him or Tony, pretending to be married to her ex-husband would not be a good idea.

It was bound to bring up some painful truths neither one of them wanted to hear.

Tony took a step forward, placing himself between Steve and Y/n, and if anyone were paying attention, they would have noticed the apparent change in Steve’s demeanor. He looked like he was ready to choke the life of Tony. This was going to be bad.

“Yeah, I have to say,” Tony cut in, adding to the brewing tension pervading the room. “No offense to you, Timberland but, I am not really sure you could pull off the whole holly and jolly thing.”

Y/n closed her eyes and held her hand out to stop whatever fight inducing remarks were ready to roll out of Steve’s mouth, by the look of his clenched fist it surely wasn’t going to be good-natured teasing. She stepped around Tony and put herself in the middle of the three men.

“Okay, here’s the skinny boys. I’m not doing it regardless of what any of you think. I came here to spend time with my dad. I didn’t come home to be part of some little–” She turned her gaze to Bucky and locked eyes with him, “game.”

There was no way he didn’t have some big master plan, and she didn’t want to be any part of it.

Bucky sighed and ran a hand along the scruff of his jaw. She could see the struggle in his eyes as he chose his next words delicately.  “I’m sorry about the diner, but this isn’t about that,” he assured her, sincerity burning in his blue eyes and she could feel her defenses crumbling. “I really need the help, and so does Nat.”

Steve glanced between the two of them, quickly working out something had transpired between the two, and he had a feeling it wasn’t her mistake. Bucky was a little protective at times– to a fault. Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky.

“What happened at the diner, Bucky?”

She shook her head, dismissing Steve’s question. It wasn’t even relevant anymore. What was done was done, and Bucky’s accusations hadn’t been entirely wrongful. “Fine,” She conceded to surprise of everyone in the room. “I’ll do it. It’s just for tonight. Find someone else for the rest of the weekend, okay?”

“You’re my favorite, you know that?” Bucky asked, grinning like the sweet jerk he is.  He kissed her cheeks a few times and walked back towards the door. “I’ll have Nat bring your costumes to the booth, so all you have to do is show up. I can’t thank you both enough.”

Y/n simply hummed in response, watching as Steve walked Bucky out. There were so many scenarios running through her brain; her head was starting to spin. This was a prescription for trouble. She looked at Tony and forced a smile, Tony could see right through it. He knew that smile well. It’s the one she uses when Neil from accounting comes into her lab and starts talking about policy and trimming budgets.

“I am going to head upstairs and take a breather before you my theatrical debut.”

Tony caught her wrists in his hand and ran his thumb along the inside of her wrist, letting his voice drop to a soft whisper, “Do you want me to come up with you? I give a mean backrub. I am also excellent at drawing out and executing escape plans.”

She chuckled for the first time all day, and of course, it was Tony’s doing.

“I have no doubts. I am sure you have plenty of practice. I just need a few minutes alone,” Y/n squeezed Tony’s fingers gently and leans into his chest for a split second. That wasn’t appropriate.

 _He’s your boss, Y/n!_ She scolded internally.

Before Tony could reassure her and help ease the tension in her frame, she had bolted up to her room, leaving him at the bottom of the stairs desperate and unable to comfort her. This is precisely why he hated Christmas. Everyone was in everyone’s business, stupid festivals, and forced smiles for people you only see once a year.

“Where did Y/n go? Is she alright?” Steve asked with genuine concern.

If Tony didn’t absolutely hate the fact that this man was trying to steal back the heart of the woman he loves, he might respect how much Steves cares about her. Might being the keyword.

“She’s fine. Just needed a minute alone after getting shanghaied into pretending to be married to her ex-husband.” Tony shrugged with a sarcastic grin, “Gotta love that wacky small-town charm, right?”

Steve smirked and shook his head.

“She likes all that big talk? Because the woman I married needed more than just a fancy suit and sharp words. She deserves a man who is more than that. Someone that can take care of her.”

“You’re right she does,” Tony said without missing a beat.

“She deserves the world, and she deserves to have someone who sees her for her. Someone who doesn’t expect her to be something she’s not. For the record, she doesn’t need someone to take care of her. She does a good job of that on her own. She needs someone to be a partner.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I was her partner for over a decade.” Steve smiled and walked towards the stairs. “Make yourself comfortable why I comfort my wife. Sometimes you just have to know how to talk to her. Not your fault, of course. How could you know what she needs when you barely know her?”

Tony bit his tongue for the first time in his life and stormed out to the back deck. He needed to get some air before he tossed Rogers over the edge of the railing.

**> >>>**

“You gonna tell me what happened at the diner or do I have to beat it out of Buck?” Steve asked as he leaned against the door frame to her teenage bedroom. She shook her head, refusing to look at him. There has been enough dramatics today, and Y/n had a feeling if she looked at him, she wouldn’t be able to keep her tears from falling.

“It was my fault. It’s not a big deal.”

He pushed off the door and slowly shuffled up behind her. What Steve would give to be able to stretch out and touch her freely; touch her like he used to, but he supposed he lost that right when he let her give up. Steve simply watched her walk away from their marriage without doing everything he could to stop her and that the biggest mistake of his life.

“Really? Because Bucky apologized in front of a room full of people. It had to be a big deal for that to happen.”

Y/n sighed and dropped the shirt in her hands onto the bed before her. There was a warmth radiating off him that was so familiar and yet wasn’t at all. She could easily just lean back into his arms and take cover from the world, from her feelings and feel like old self for just a moment. Would that be so bad? Maybe, maybe not. They were about to find out. She allowed herself to give in to a moment of vulnerability and leaned back against Steve’s chest, breathing him in.

Steve smelled just like she remembered, like home.

“He was just protecting you,” She stated quietly. “It’s fine, and honestly, he wasn’t wrong.”

Steve pondered if he should return her touch, but he couldn’t help himself. It had been far too long since he last held her. He drew his arms up and enveloped them around her, holding her securely against him. Steve’s cheek rested on the back of her head, and his arms tighten around her like he was scared she was going to slip through his arms or vanish right before his eyes. When he finally spoke, there was a heavyweight of unspoken emotions flooding every word.

“He probably wasn’t right either. It took two of us to destroy our marriage, and I doubt he was mindful of that before he spoke to you. You stopped trying, and I avoided you.”

She closed her eyes and turned to hide her face in his neck. There was so much she wanted to say:  _I’ve waited to hear you say that for so, so long. I’ve avoided this because I knew we would end up right here. Sarah is still gone, and I can’t look at you without seeing her beautiful smile and bright blue eyes staring back at me. I still love you, but is that enough?_

None of that needed to be said now. It wasn’t something Steve needed to hear tonight, and she wasn’t sure she could voice those feelings even if he needed to listen to. This was not the moment for a heartfelt declaration that could change her life as quickly as they are spoken.

“So, Santa. Are you ready? You have to be at your jolliest?” She asked, voice filled with false humor and forced joy. He hated that was the only kind of happiness she had now, and it was mostly his fault.

“Yeah, I’m ready.” He gripped her shoulders and turned her around to face him, “Only if you promise to be my missus and keep me in check. You know how I get. Handing two cookies to every kid gives me the puppy dog eyes.”

A real laugh slipped out, and Steve simpered in response. He would give anything to be able to make her laugh like that every day from here on out. Only, Steve wasn’t sure he was the one she wanted to spend her days with. Tonight could change all that. Steve could remind her how good they are together if she only gives him the chance to show her.

“I never could. Not sure now is gonna be any different, but don’t worry. I’ll be by your side all night,” she promises with a beaming smile.

That was the sweetest thing he’s heard in years.


End file.
